Fur Rondy

Today marks the beginning of Fur Rondy, a big winter carnival held every year in Anchorage. Originally, the Fur Rondy was when all the trappers and furriers brought their goods to Anchorage to trade and sell. Nowadays, it's like a local version of Mardi Gras.
Only, y'know, with a lot less exposed skin and public debauchery.
The opening ceremony will feature fireworks. And I think the Miners & Trappers Ball is tonight as well. I know that the Melodrama definitely starts tonight.
And tomorrow there will be the Reindeer Run, a sort of Alaskan version of the running of the bulls. Only, y'know, with reindeer.
A bunch of folks from The Job have signed up for the Reindeer Run. Tomorrow afternoon, I'll have a tonne of folks at the office, watching events unfold from the roof. They'll be dragging their families along with them, which means I'll have to interact with spouses and children.
On a Sunday.
Yeah, Sunday's aren't my best days.
I'll definitely be stopping off at Charbucks for a quad latte with extra syrup.
Still alive and staying home tonight. - G.

Books

It has occurred to me, that since starting this blog, I have committed a cardinal sin: I haven't done a single Blog List.
So, in hopes of fending off the ire of the Blogging Gods, I present to you, gentle readers, a list of The Last Ten Books I Have Read.

1. Gamearth by Kevin J. Anderson

2. Ill Wind by Kevin J. Anderson

3. Death of a Gentle Lady by M. C. Beaton

4. The Sword-Edged Blonde by Alex Bledsoe

5. Boomsday by Christopher Buckley

6. The Gates by John Connolly

7. Shades of Grey by Jasper Fforde

8. Changing the World: All New Tales of Valdemar, edited by Mercedes Lackey

9. The Sheriff of Yrnameer by Michael Rubens

10. The Book of Dave by Will Self

Jobbed

So, I didn't get the specialist position I applied for at The Job. No big loss, and, to be perfectly honest, I'm a bit relieved. After all, this is a technical job and it's one I'm not sure I wanted to jump into, sight unseen.
Still, when I found out Wednesday night, I was a bit miffed. The pay raise would have been useful, since I'm going to be losing a chunk of money when I start working days. Also, I swear that the application process was rigged. The self-assessment questions were geared specifically toward people who were already doing the job in a backup capacity. And I'm not even going to get into the fact I had to hack huge swathes of info from my resume to accommodate the application software's 3000 character limit.
Yeah, you read that right.
3000 characters.
Not words.
Characters.
Pheh.
Whatever.
I don't care.
In about a month, I'll be on days, working like a normal person for the first time in fifteen years. It should be a nice change of pace, not to have to be so damned responsible.
And I won't miss the phone pervs at all.
Still alive and pretty much resigned to being a file clerk. - G.

The future is finally starting to arrive.

So, this is cool.

A New Zealand firm is going to start producing and selling jet packs like the one above.

The future is finally starting to arrive.

Still alive and still waiting for my flying car. - G.

Ego boost

So, yesterday I posted a story for the first time on a bulletin board I've been lurking at for a while. I think this is my favorite response, so far:

"The kind of emotionally dark, bleak place this went worked very well in a lot of ways and proved a powerful introduction for a new author to enter our midst. I can't, for several reasons both obvious and private, say that I enjoyed this story, but I can say it was well handled and worthy of eventual rereading and recommendation."

He called me an author.

:)

Still alive and thinking about returning to that unfinished novel. - G.

Picture Day

Above is the view from a webcam on 4th Avenue and G Street. On the right hand side of the image you can see the marquee for the historic 4th Avenue Theater. I read somewhere that the city was in negotiations with the owner to renovate the place. That discussion has been had before, but nothing's come of it then. I doubt anything will come of it now.
Still alive and thinking about getting a digital camera. - G

Grrrrrrr!

Well, this weekend has been kind of crappy all around. I'll spare y'all the details because, basically, I don't see any point in whining about shit that's already happened.
But I will say this.
Some people should be glad that I don't own a gun.
Hopefully tomorrow will be better.
Still alive and contemplating anger management. - G.

I don't think that's what they meant by "feel the burn."

So, I've taken a couple extra days off, tacking them onto the weekend.
And I've been eating healthy.
Eating healthy is always a bad thing for me to do.
Why? you ask.
Because my fabulous body no longer tolerates "healthy" food.
For instance, I got some raisins yesterday and completely forgot that raisins are just dried grapes and that grapes, well, let's just say I don't need Metamucil if I'm eatin' the grapes.
I've spent most of this evening vaulting for the toilet.
That's why I'm up so late on a Sunday, blogging away while my gut gurgles like a still about to explode.
At times like these, I really wish I kept some Pepto in the house.
My bottom feels like someone's shoved a hot poker up it.
Still alive and feeling the burn. - G.

Eww! I've actually done a post relating to Twilight...

So, Robert Pattinson, he of the strangely trapezoidal head, and Twilight fangirl obsessions, has made a comment that he's "allergic to vaginas." This amazing revelation came about after he participated in a twelve-hour photoshoot for Details magazine's 10th anniversary. He's quoted over on The Huffington Post, saying he's allergic to the vag and just doesn't like "women's private parts."
And I can't help but wondering?
Is that gonna be his reasoning for eventually going gay? 'Cause he just didn't have any other choice?
"I'm allergic to the vag, so have had to make do with the cock."
Oy vey.
Still alive and totally amused. - G.

A Joke For You

Q: What's black and white and red all over?

A: Two mimes in a chainsaw fight.

Happy Birthday Sis!

Holy crap!
I totally forgot that today was my sister's birthday!
Well, here's some cake, sweety!
Hope you had a great one!
Still alive and younger than my Sister! - G.

Addendum to the Previous Post

I should hasten to point out that I said I was "thinking about going on a diet."
"Thinking."
I am not committed to it.
Not yet.
After all, it is Girl Scout Cookie season, and Thin Mints are like crack.
Still alive and clarifying the situation. - G.

At least I'm not Kevin Smith....

Even though yesterday's Pants Incident was in no way, shape or form induced by my weight, I'm thinking of going on a diet.
Party because yesterday was Fat Tuesday and today is Shrove Wednesday, the beginning of Lent, when you're supposed to give up stuff. I figure that's as good a time as any to start a new health regime. Right? Right.
For me, dieting is not that hard. I have two sure fire methods I use that always help me lose weight.
The first, is calorie counting. All I have to do is set a caloric limit and then ruthlessly keep track of everything I eat. Which means walking around all day with a little pad, scribbling down numbers and adding them up, making sure I don't cross the line.
The second secret to my diet success, is the Sims. Yeah, you read that right. The video game put out by Electronic Arts is a big help in controlling weight. How? you ask. Because it gives you something else to focus on while you're sitting at home. You see, I eat when I'm bored and if I'm engaged in something like the Sims, I don't really notice my urge to eat.
Of course, before I actually start the diet, I have to get rid of the crap food that's in my refrigerator at this minute.
And by that, I mean the chocolate pudding I bought last night and started scarfing down after eating a microwave mac-n-cheese.
Yeah, I'm the poster boy for good eating.
Still alive and contemplating thinness. - G.

At least I was wearing clean underwear...

Have you ever had one of those days? Everything is going along swimmingly and then, suddenly, something occurs that just spoils your mood and sends you into a tailspin?
I'm having one of those days.
It was all going so nicely. I'd woken up early, shaved and showered and decided I'd dress up a bit for work. So I pull on my khaki slacks and the camo sweatshirt that goes so well with it.
I decided I'd stop off at Subways and grab a tuna sub, 'cause I've been jonesing for fish for the last few days. Don't ask me why, but I have.
So, I'm in Subway, waiting on my food, when I notice my shoe is untied. I think about tying it there, but, honestly, the thought of kneeling on their floors just puts me right off. They're dirty and wet with all the mud and slush people have been trailing in.
So, I get my food and go outside. Plop my sandwich on the hood of my car and kneel on the reasonably clean sidewalk to tie by shoe.
And that's when it happens.
RRRRRIIIIIIPPPPP!!!
Yep.You guessed it.
Looking down, I'm startled to see that the stitching along the crotch of my khakis has completely given way.
I stand up and stare down at my groin and my surprise turns to black anger.
These pants are brand new! I think to myself. I've only worn them, like, twice! What the fuck?!?!
And now I have to go all the way back home and get a change of pants. Which means that I don't get to go into work early, and now I'm in a really bad mood.
I get home and take off the khakis and look at them. I see that the stitching all along the seam is ridiculously loose. What the hell?
I throw them in the trash and pull on a pair of worn blue jeans. Leadfoot it into work, where I avoid everyone for about twenty minutes because, honestly, I'm not fit for human company at that point.
I'm still pissed at the fact that those pants split, but I no longer want to stab anyone in the head with a fork.
And, actually, writing all of this down has helped a lot.
So, thanks Blogger. You've probably kept me from going off on some poor lunatic tonight.
Still alive, and reasonably calm. - G.

Sleeping Lady

So, here's a picture of Mount Susitna, also known locally as Sleeping Lady. It got the name Sleeping Lady because it looks a bit like a girl sleeping with her arms crossed on her chest. Personally, it's easier for me to imagine it as a lady, sleeping on her side.

What do y'all see?

Still alive! - G.

Gung Hee Fat Choi!

Happy Chinese New Year!
This year, is the Year of the Tiger.
According to Chinese astrology, Roosters and Tigers don't always get along, and since I'm a Rooster person the coming year may be somewhat "interesting."
Let's hope it's not too "interesting."
Oh. And today is also Valentine's Day or something.
Hope y'all have a happy one!
Still alive and getting ready to go to bed. - G

Snowstalgia

Sis sent me some pics she took, of her and her family, enjoying yesterday's unusual southern snowstorm. The Nephews look like they're having a ball. Good for them.
I remember loving snow when I grew up in the South, on those rare instances when we would get it, but now, living here in Alaska, I am pretty much immune to its charms. Its just part of the background, like the mountains, or an obstacle to avoid, like the drunks on 5th Avenue.
Wow.
That sounded a lot less dark in my head.
Still alive and preparing to walk out into the snow. - G.

Snow

When I signed onto the Internet today, I was surprised to read headlines about a winter storm sweeping the Deep South. Curious, I clicked on the link and saw what appeared to be a massive snow storm. Most of the main website coverage was about reactions of people in Georgia and Alabama and such places.

I was wondering what South Carolina was experiencing so I checked one of the local news sites. Can you imagine my surprise and amusement when I watched a video clip of a reporter commenting on the 1/2 inch of snow Orangeburg had got so far? The man was bundled up as if he were about to go traipsing off to the Arctic.

It was 20something degrees. Here in Alaska, that's bloody warm. You wear a normal coat and a hat, not Arktik cold weather survival gear like the weatherman in the clip.

*shakes head*

Oh. And don't talk to me about 'snow accumulation' until you've got enough to build something like this:

Still alive! - G.

Yippee!

Hurrah!
I have at least one reader!
Now, let the good times roll!
Still alive! - G.

Curious

So, it's been a week since I've been blogging here and I'm wondering if anyone is actually reading this? If you are, leave a comment, please.
Still alive. - G

Fucking hell.

I was filling out my online application for a new position at The Job, when the damn network went spastic.

The info's there, but I need a cover sheet from said website, to fax in some accompanying document or the damned application just won't take. And I can't find the damned webpage with the fax cover sheets on it anywhere! At this point, I'm going to have to bloody well resubmit my application, just to get a damned cover sheet! Aaaarrrghhh!!!

Sometimes, I really fucking hate the Internet.

Still alive and really pissed off. - G.

Last night was a wierd night.
Lots of crazy people calling The Job and even my coworkers were a little off.
Tonight, I expect more of the same, mainly because we're doing this class we hold annually for interested members of the public. This year's class is the biggest one, with thirty attendees. They come in around six and usually leave between nine and ten.
While the class is going on, I'm pretty much stuck at switchboard. The instructors don't like the phones ringing on the overhead. It's a distraction.
So, tonight I expect I'll be sitting at the switchboard, mucking around on the Internet and fending off the drunken crazies with my razor sharp wit (ha!) and bad attitude.
Still alive. - G.

I think Wednesdays should be Joke Days.

Well, this is brilliant.
I'm up at 1:30.
So much for my grand experiment to start getting up early in preparation for my move to the day shift.
I can't say I'm surprised, and, honestly, is anyone else? Does anyone get up earlier than they absolutely have to?
No, they don't.
So, until I am going back on Days, this will probably be my normal wake up time.
If you're looking for early morning posts, this is going to be it.
Speaking of posts, blogging here is one of the first things I do in the day. That's why I ramble on a bit. My brain hasn't completely woken up yet.
And, now, because it's Wednesday, here's a joke:

The Hunchback of Notre Dame comes home one evening from a long day of ringing the bells. When he walks into his house, he sees that his wife has the wok out.
"Oh great!" says Quasimodo. "We're having stir fry! I love stir fry!"
His wife looks at him and says, "Don't be an idiot. I've been ironing your shirts."

*rimshot*

Still alive. - G.

A Picture

Wow.
Just look at those mountains, in the background. They look like something out of Tolkein's Lord of the Rings.
Still alive and more awake than before. - G.

I think I need one of those hospital drips, but filled with coffee....

Ugh.
Ten-o-clock in the morning and I'm awake.
This is so not natural.
But, I need to start getting used to getting up in preparation for the move to days.
In other news, I had my front bedroom painted last night.
Guy was here until almost 11:00 PM working. Did a great job. Very pleased with it. He's coming back out tonight to replace and paint the trim.
Off now, in search of caffeine.
Still alive. - G.

What's all this then?

About a week ago I got an e-mail from my mom:

"What is up with you??? You haven't answered any of my calls or e-mails. Are you sick? Let me know you are OK. I am beginning to worry about you.

Love, Mom."

Sweet, right? But kind of nuts too, in the way that only a loving mother can be. Because, honestly, outside of a missed phone call on my birthday and an e-mail prior to this one, I haven't heard from my mom at all. But from what she wrote in this last e-mail, quoted above, it's like she's been e-mailing me constantly and trying to call me all the time, sitting by the phone and ringing her hands in agitation because she hasn't heard from me in a few weeks.
Honestly, we've gone much longer than that without talking. What's the big deal? Is this a mom thing? A woman thing? Because I don't see why she's getting all worked up.
Still, since my mom is so obviously concerned about my welfare and our lack of communication I have started this blog. This way, she can come here and check for updates and be comforted by the knowledge that, even though she may not hear from me for a while, that doesn't mean that I'm dead. Hence, this blog's title, "Yes, I Am Still Alive."
Here, I will provide updates on my life for the concerned and/or the curious. This is my second blog and I'm going to try and keep this one PG, because I'm making this mainly for my family. That said, you can probably expect me to use some foul language, but I'll try to refrain from posting porn. So, the contents here should be Safe For Work if you want to check for updates while on the job.
Speaking of updates, you can expect them to be fairly frequent. I post daily in my other blog and will probably do the same here. I talk about all kinds of stuff, whatever has stuck to the flypaper of my mind, so one day I might be complaining about The Job and the next I might be commenting on an article I've read in The Times.
Hopefully, it'll all be entertaining.
Comments are welcome and, for the moment, unmoderated. But at the first sign of a spambot that will probably change. Responses are not expected. So, no pressure.
And I think that, as first posts go, this one has gone pretty well.
Expect more in the future.
Still alive. - G.