2010 in the First Lines of Blogger Posts

About a week ago I got an e-mail from my mom.

March has arrived and so has my successor at the Job.

In about fifteen minutes, I'll be leaving the job and entering the weekend.

The weekend passed in a blur, although I have no idea why because I spent most of the time dinking around on my laptop trying to write something.

So, I'm back.

As I sat here, today, contemplating what to write, my stomach began to gurgle and groan like a West Virginia still.

Things are picking up.

God, it's been an age since I actually updated this thing.

I got an early start this morning.

So, October has blown through and now we find ourselves shivering in November.

Gah, it's been an age since I updated this thing.

Gah, it's been an age since I updated this thing.
Okay, first things first: December got off to a rocky start. I caught a flu bug going around up here that evolved into a mild case of bronchitis that I'm just getting over.
Then, no sooner is that taken care of, than I drop my dentures on the counter and wind up losing one of the front teeth. Joy. That just happened, so off I went to the dentist yesterday to get them repaired. I pick them up today and, God willing, this will be the last snafu I encounter this month.
Otherwise, I'm doing okay. It's been pretty damn cold up here the last few weeks, with highs in the low teens and overnight lows in the single digits. We haven't hit the subzero temperatures yet, and I'm hoping that we don't. Well, not for a while.
Next week is the Winter Solstice, thank God, and after that we start gaining light back. The dark has been really bad this year, maybe because I'm home a lot more and it's getting to me. I dunno.
Not much else to report on. I'm lowering the price on the condo this January and hoping that gets me a buyer.
Still banging away on the writing. The mystery is pretty much kaput at this point, but some of the other stuff is coming along nicely.
I'll try to update again before New Year's Eve.
Still alive and feeling chilly. - G.

The Boomerang Flu

Well, Thanksgiving has come and gone and now Christmas is careening toward us like some out of control festive juggernaut.
Would I be a complete Grinch if I said that I didn't much care for Christmas? I mean, I like the idea, but the execution is always a bit off. Plus, I'm already sick to death of holiday music since they started playing it in the stores up here right after Halloween.
Adding to my current Grinchiness is the fact that I have a bad case of the Boomerang Flu. What, you ask, is the Boomerang Flu? It's that flu you get one week, that you manage to shake after about four days, but then about a week later it comes right back at you, like it never left.
As I type this, my nose is congested and leaky, but at least the fever is gone. I've been sleeping like a cat, taking 12 hour naps. The space heater in my bedroom is running nonstop. It's over 80 degrees in there. This is all part of my usual means of shaking illness, which also incorporates screwdrivers and hot showers. Basically, I sweat it out of me.
Weirdly, this doesn't seem to be working this time. This sickness is just lingering, on and on. To make matters worse, the Research Job called to ask about availability later on this week. I told them I'd check back with them on Wednesday.
Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm about due for another cat nap.
Still alive, just really congested. - G.

It's been over a week since my last entry.
Not a lot has happened.
I got a flu bug that was going around up here, a prequal, I suspect to the pre-Christmas Crud that always strikes Anchorage. Thank God I don't have kids. The schools up here are just breeding grounds for disease.
Been trying to take a break from the 'serious' writing, and loosen up the ol' psychic muscles by working on some other stuff. So far, it's been no fun. I'm just locked down.
Still looking for something part-time, but so far no luck there either. The stuff that's posted is either something I don't want to do or doesn't pay enough to make it worth my while. I mean, seriously, if I wanted to make minimum wage I'd get a job at McDonald's.
Had some folks come by and take a look at the condo yesterday. I made myself absent, but I don't know why I bothered. This time of the year, all I'm going to get are looky-loos. I'm thinking about just taking it off the market until things warm up, but by the time that happens, I'll be ready to dump the place on the bank and just walk away.
Eh.
I dunno.
I'm in a funky mood.
In other news, I was invited to Las Vegas this weekend for some friends wedding. Kurt and Amanda, from back in VA, were renewing their vows and I got an e-mailed invitation to attend. I haven't heard from those guys in years, so that was nice. But, since I got it late, I couldn't score a decent airfare so here I sit, typing this.
And next week is Thanksgiving and then there's Christmas and New Years and then the Birthday.
Man, time is really flying now.
Still alive. - G.

So, I started work at the Market Research Place this last Saturday. For five hours I sat on a phone, calling villages in Western Alaska and doing surveys on global warming. Pretty easy work, and now I can honestly say that I am gainfully employed, if only part-time. At the very least, I can put this job down on my resume.
It looks like it's going to be getting busy down the road too. There are a couple of other surveys coming up, one involving charitable donations and the other involving aquaculture. They'll both be statewide and, yeah, I can pretty much gaurantee we'll have to explain what aquaculture is to a lot of people.
In other news, closer to home, I may have someone interested in the condo. I had some folks come by and take a look at the place last week and they came back yesterday. So, fingers crossed that they make an offer.
Other than that, not much else is going on. I think I'm going to scrap the long mystery novel and focus more on short stories. Honestly, I think I'm better at them and, going back and rereading what I've written so far, I seem to be devoting a ridiculous amount of time to describing the scenes. It would be one thing if they were relevant to the crime, but they're not.
Ah well, live and learn. Right?
Oh! And before I forget, the snow has finally arrived.
Still alive and keeping warm. - G.

So, October has blown through and we now find ourselves shivering in November. Fall has formally transitioned to winter, which means I only have another six months of winter before it starts to warm up again.
Oy vey.
Just the thought is enough to give me the wiggins.
Didn't do much for Halloween this year. Got some candy and stuck it in a bowl, but didn't get a single damn trick-r-treater. So now I've got a bowl full of chocolate that I can't eat because it irritates my Acid Reflux. I'm probably going to wind up throwing it out, just to avoid the temptation.
Still looking for something part time. You wouldn't think it would be this hard to find part time work in this economy. Checked in with my temp agency and they had nada. Checked the usual websites and saw a couple of full time jobs that looked interesting, but I'm hesitant to make a long term commitment since I know I'll be leaving this spring.
The writing, alas, is completely stalled. I spend more time staring at the screen, trying to get something down than actually writing anything down. That's very disheartening.
Okay. This post is getting entirely too whiny.
On the positive side of things, I get to sleep in late every day and set my own schedule. So, take that all you paper-pushing geeks! While you're trundling out of bed at the ass-crack of dawn, I'm turning over, looking at the bedside clock and going back to sleep! Ha!
Still alive and looking at the positives. - G.

So, quick weekend catchup.
The training that was scheduled at the Market Research Job this past week was cancelled because the trainer came down with bronchitis. So, training will be tentatively rescheduled for some time this week. *fingers crossed*
My story, Heading Home, was posted over at 365tomorrows earlier this week. So far, it's gotten some nice comments.
That same day, I had a job interview at Personnel Plus. I was there to apply for a reception position but wound up registering with them. What could it hurt? The interview went well, I think. The lady I spoke with used to work for Social Services in North Carolina, so we traded war stories about our experiences. She gave me some pointers re my resume, too.
Yesterday, I went and had my snow tires put on the car. It was only a four hour wait, long enough for me to see a movie and hang out in the library for a little while. Turns out, I have perfect timing, because when I left the tire place it was trying to snow.
Beyond that, there's not a whole lot else going on these days. I get up in the morning and scour the websites looking for a halfway decent job, then retreat to the bedroom to stare at my laptop computer for hours, trying to grind out a halfway decent bit of story. When the walls start closing in, I get up and go out, somewhere with people and just hang about. After about an hour, I'm ready to retreat back into my shell.
And that's pretty much my life these days.
Still alive and holding steady. - G.

Jobbed

I got a call a little while ago from the Market Research Firm I interviewed at last week. They've offered me a temp job. I go in this Wednesday for training and the gig starts Thursday and runs through Sunday.
Finally! The walls of my condo were starting to close in on me.
In other news, I have a condo showing this evening. Hopefully, with interest rates down to 4%, I'll get an offer. As it is, I feel like a wallflower at a high school dance, standing around waiting for somebody to ask me to hit the dance floor.
Still alive and considering a celebratory latte. - G.

Joke

A man walks into a doctor's office. He has a cucumber up his nose, a carrot in his left ear and a banana in his right ear.
"What's the matter with me?" he asks the doctor.
The doctor replies, "You're not eating properly."

Still alive and telling jokes. - G.

I just got a call from the research place I applied at last week. They want to do an interview with me this Friday.
Woohoo!
Still alive and maybe getting out of the house. - G.

Fiction: Never Alone

NEVER ALONE

“I’ll miss you.” Pandora hangs her head, but her grip on Shadow’s hand is tight.
Shadow touches her hand. “You know I don’t want to go.”
She nods. “But you have to.”
Impulsively, Pandora throws back her veil. Shadow recoils, eyes flashing left and right, making sure that no one else is around to see.
“What are you doing?” he hisses. His heart is pounding in his chest.
“Kiss me,” says Pandora.
Shadow blanches. “Here? What if someone sees?”
“I don’t care. Kiss me once, before you go. So I’ll have something to remember you by.”
He turns away, shutting his eyes. “I can’t. It’s not right.”
“What do you care about right or wrong?” Her voice is laced with hot anger. She pulls her hand from his. “You’re leaving me. How is that right? After the promises you made?”
“Pandora, I don’t have any choice. You know that.”
“I don’t care.” She pulls her veil down over her face. “And don’t expect me to wait for you.”
“I never expected you too,” says Shadow.
He watches her spine stiffen and tells himself it’s for the best. They can’t be together. Not now, not ever. What’s the use of false hope?
Shadow places his hands together and bows, formally. “Goodbye, Miss Stringfellow.”
She doesn’t respond and he didn’t expect her too. Turning his back, Shadow walks away from her. Deliberately, he does not look back.
“You did the right thing, Shadow,” says his mentor, Aesop. Its voice resonates softly, feather-light within his ear.
Shadow touches the implant, at the base of his neck. “Did I?”
“You’ll be gone ten years,” says Aesop. “Would you really want her to sacrifice the best years of her life, waiting on you?”
“No.”
“Of course not.”
Shadow swallows. “She won’t get in trouble, will she? For lifting her veil.”
“She was upset. Allowances are made during such times. Her mentor is probably telling her the same thing, right now.”
“I wish I’d kissed her goodbye.”
“It’s better that you didn’t.”
Shadow hangs his head, stares at the concrete street beneath his feet. A tear slides down his cheek. “I feel so . . . alone.”
“You’re never alone,” whispers Aesop. “No one is. Not anymore. That’s why your ancestors made us. Remember?”
Of course he remembers. Shadow knows his history. A century ago when the pandemics reduced humanity to only a few hundred, the mentors were made. At first they were created to house humanity’s knowledge, but eventually they became more than mere librarians. They became treasured advisors, boon companions and, in some cases, surrogate parents.
“I remember,” murmurs Shadow.
He touches his neck again, reflecting on all the times that his mentor has helped him, offered comfort and guidance. “Thank you, Aesop.”
Tears still slide down Shadow’s cheeks, but the mentor, kindly, does not comment on them.

I got an early start this morning. Woke up at 8:00 AM - Which is totally early for some of us! - and hauled ass downtown to Barnes & Noble for their 9:00 AM group interview.
I honestly don't know how it went. I was the first one to show up and was chatting with the manager doing the interviews and we seemed to get along all right. I think I might have made an impression, but I'm not sure.
There were four other people there. A very nice young lady, a single mom taking a business management course at UAA and a couple of youngish college guys. One guy had a Beiber cut and the other guy was a very quiet black dude.
The interview was interesting, but I don't know how well I did. They only asked like three or four questions. I think I gave some pretty good answers on a couple of 'em. The manager guy looked at me and sort of nodded, which I take as a positive.
But the single mom did exceptionally well. She was very well spoken. I'm tempted to use the word erudite to describe her responses. The young lady sitting next to me was enthusiastic. As for the other guys? The black dude was just too quiet, in my opinion, and the Beiber hair guy was enthusiastic, but sort of twitchy.
Eh. They'll review their notes and if I haven't heard anything by the end of next week, I'll know it was a wash.
In other, job-related news, I faxed in a follow up document to a temp job I applied for last week. Its with a research firm that does political polling. The work sounds interesting, as long as I don't have to do it from home. I'm not cold calling people from my home phone. That's just not going to happen.
Got an e-mail from a guy who claims he saw my resume on Careerbuilder. But it read like a generic e-mail and it's a job in telephone sales, which I'm so not interested in. And speaking of Careerbuilder, I sent off my resume to their free resume review and got a totally generic response, stuffed full of links to their pay services. Fuckers.
My own fault though, since you get what you pay for.
That's pretty much it right now. Hope things are going well for y'all.
Still alive and looking for the right job. - G.

:D

The other night I sent off a story to a website and promptly forgot about it. This morning I got an e-mail from the site's editor-in-chief, letting me know they were accepting my story and that it would show up on the web page eventually.
Hee!
That makes two stories of mine they've taken, so I don't feel at all bad about adding 'published author' to my resume. :P

108

Not counting this entry, I have 107 posts in this blog. Who woulda thunk? Anywho, it's been about a week since my last post, so I thought I'd update the scores of readers out there with what I've been up to.
Mainly, I've been looking for a job.
Last Thursday I went to a job fair at this place in Midtown. Haven't heard anything from them yet, and, honestly, I'll be surprised if I do. I was interviewed by a bloody embryo in a suit and tie. I suspect they were just farming applications to add to their data base. Basically, they were playing the numbers game.
Pheh.
Once more I went by Barnes & Noble and picked up an application, and, once more, I slept right through the alarm clock. That getting up at 8:00 in the morning is for the birds. Still, there's always next week. Right? Right.
Today, I have applied for a position at the Anchorage Grande Hotel. They were looking for someone to work three nights a week, 3:00 PM to 11:00 PM, so the hours would be ideal. I e-mailed them a cover letter and an abbreviated resume, which means I'll provide personal and professional references if they call me back.
Also saw an ad on Craigslist for a Junior Production Assistant. It's an entry level, full time job, posted about a week ago, but I thought: what the hell? So I fired off an e-mail to them to see if they had filled the position or not.
Other than that, not a lot going on. I'm still banging my head against the wall on my mystery and am seriously thinking I should just scrap it and go write something else.
I went and saw Eat Pray Love at the movies this past Friday and I'm definitely not finishing the book now. Terrible book, terrible movie.
And that's where I'm at right now. Not a lot else going on. When I finish here, I'm going to contact my temp agency and let them know I'm available this week. But things have been dead there too, so I'm not holding my breath.
Still alive and looking for work. - G.

Well, it's been three months since I left The Job. And I can honestly say that I don't really regret my decision to leave. However, I'm starting to get seriously stir crazy, here at the house. So, this morning I got up and started to look around for a new job. Something part-time, maybe.
So far, this has pretty much amounted to me posting an ad on Craigslist, checking out an opening for a front desk clerk at an Extended Stay motel (Filled yesterday, darn it!), and picking up an application for the local Blockbusters.
Tomorrow, I think I may make an appointment with a second temp company and maybe post a searchable resume on Careerbuilder.com.
Cause, honestly, if I'm stuck in this house all winter long, I am going to go bugshit crazy.
Still alive and looking for a living. - G.

God, it's been an age since I actually updated this thing. Almost a whole month! The sad part is that I don't really have much to update with. Without a job to bitch about I seem to have settled into a sort of pleasant ambivalence.
I have had some folks come and look at the condo. As a matter of fact, I've got someone coming over this afternoon. While they're here, I shall be off at the movies, probably watching the latest Resident Evil flick.
I've been banging away on the writing, working on a mystery. It's bloody hard, writing a mystery. The self-criticism doesn't help any. I tend to write a few pages a day, go back and read 'em, decide they're crap and get the overwhelming urge to delete the lot. Lately, though, I've overcome this problem by simply not rereading what I write. I'm just spilling my guts on the screen, saving it, and trying to get on with things.
So, naturally, I get hit with a bout of writer's block.
Bloody. Hell.
That's pretty much it.
Still alive and dreading the first snow. - G.

Wow.
It's been over two weeks since I updated here. Not surprising, really, since I haven't had much to write about here.
Been working on some short stories and think I may have a collection in the works. Also, I've had a few house showings. *crosses fingers* Hopefully someone will make a halfway decent offer some time soon.
I really hope I can sell the place before October. Otherwise, I'm here for at least another year.

Another miserable day, here on the Last Frontier. The sky is gray and overcast, threatening rain, and the temp is in the mid 50s.
It's bloody August! What happened to summer?
Pheh.
Don't care.
Had a couple of home showings this week, so hope the place will sell soon.
My temp agency called and offered me a job, 20-25 hours a week, on a 6-month contract. Turned it down because of the length of the contract. I wouldn't feel right taking a long-term contract and then leaving it early.
Not much else to report.
Still banging away at the writing, with mixed success.
Have been hit by inspiration though, so we'll see if anything comes of that.
Still alive and wishing for some sunshine. - G.

Things are picking up.
I've had a couple of people come by and take a look at the house this week. Yay, prospective buyers! Plus, I ran into a former coworker who said he might be interested in buying the place and renting it out. If I haven't sold by the end of August I'm going to give him a call and see if he's still interested.
Not much else going on. Been reading a bit, mostly mysteries, and trying to write. I'm having much better success with the previous, rather than the later. Everything I write wants to devolve into porn.
Can I blame the Internet for that? Because I totally am.
Still alive and blaming the Internet. - G.

Another day, dull as dishwater, here in the Last Frontier. The rain has stopped, but the sun hasn't really come out and the temperature is in the mid-50s. This remains one of the most miserable summers that I can recall.
Got the weekly report from my realtor regarding website activity involving my listing. The numbers have been gradually going up. Hopefully, I'll have a buyer soon.
Not a lot else going on. I'm working my way through a couple of books that, honestly, aren't that interesting. I've been trying to write, but I'm not happy with anything I've produced. So I wind up saving it and coming back to it later, only to find it has lost all interest for me.
Still alive and feeling a bit blah. - G.

Rain, rain, go away...

It's a miserable day here in Anchorage.
It's been raining all morning and the sky is just the particular shade of gray that makes everything feel 'blah.'
On top of the horrible weather, I'm still waiting to hear about the upcoming temp job. I was told it would probably start today, but no news yet. And, honestly, if people expect me to get up at nine in the morning when I don't have to, they should really think again.
In addition, I'm feeling faintly nostalgic. Comic-Con was this last weekend in San Diego. I haven't gone to the Con in years, because it's just gotten too big and too crowded, but I still get nostalgic when it rolls around. Ah! Good memories!
Still alive and staring out the window, at the rain. - G.

Hi-ho! Hi-ho!

It's off to work, I go.
I've got a temp job lined up for the next couple of weeks. Basically, I'll be scanning files into a computer for the VA.
It sounds dull as dishwater, but the pay's not bad and it'll get me out of the house for a while.
So, that's a relief.
Still no nibbles on the home sell front. Bit depressing, but I'm not worried. It's only been a few weeks. And last night I ran into Coworker Leroy from The Job, who expressed an interest in maybe buying the place and renting it out.
So, I have options.
Now, if only the damned howler monkey kids across the way would shut the hell up the day would be just fine.
Still alive and mildly vexed at the neighbors. - G.

Haven't been up to much the last few weeks. Yesterday marked the one month anniversary since I left The Job.
This morning I had planned on getting up and moseying down to the local Barnes & Nobles. They have open interviews early Monday morning, before the store opens, and I thought I might as well toss my hat into the ring.
The only thing is, I woke up, shut off my alarm, rolled over and went right back to sleep.
Ah well. There's always next week.
But I really need to find something to do. The walls of my condo, they are starting to close in on me.
Still alive and getting restless. - G.

Self-published is still published. Right?

So, I'm published.
Yay, me.
What did I publish, you ask? An RPGless sourcebook called Winter City, The City of Marvels.
I've been working on it, off and on, for about a year. Then, being unemployed and all, I decided to go ahead and publish it.
Granted, it's being published on Lulu.com, but that's still published.
It's been an interesting experience. Lulu is pretty user-friendly, but I had some problems uploading my file. I write in WordPerfect and when I saved the file as a RTF, it shifted my tabs. I got that problem fixed and uploaded it again, only to discover that the RTF transfer had added blank pages that threw off the page numbering on my Table of Contents page. So, got that fixed and went back to having problems with the tabs on the TOC page.
At that point, I pretty much threw my hands up and gave in. It's a 134-page resource book for geeks. I don't think a couple of misaligned tabs on one page is going to detract from the content. If that makes me unprofessional? Well, so be it.
I think people will like the content. The book gives a history of the city, an overview of the neighborhoods, snapshots of local businesses, the city government, major industries, prominent people and ideas for campaigns.
It's copyrighted and has an ISB # and everything!
I've already got a follow-up project in mind. I think I'll start on that tomorrow. At least it'll keep me off the street.
Right?
Right!
Still alive and happily published. - G.

Rumbles in the Tummy

As I sat here, today, contemplating what to write, my stomach began to gurgle and groan like a West Virginia still. I have no idea what's going on internally, but the sounds are disturbing. And loud. What the hell is up with that?
True, the last thing I ate was a box of Cheeze Nips, but I'm not lactose intolerant or anything. So what the heck is going on?
And on top of that, I've got a funny tickle in the back of my throat.
I really hope I'm not coming down with a summer cold.
That's all I need.
On the positive side of things, though, at least I don't have to worry about taking sick leave.
Still alive and feeling odd. - G.

Picture Day

This picture pretty much exemplifies the type of summer we've been having, here in Anchorage. Basically, it's been gray and overcast with occasional rain showers and highs ranging from the upper 50s to the upper 60s.
Pretty miserable actually.
Still alive and keeping dry. - G.

The Big Reveal

I quit my job.
There, I said it. At last, the awful truth can be known.
I hesitated to post the info here because I wanted to tell Mom first, on the off chance she ever checked this blog. I know Sis sometimes checks it and didn't want the info to reach Mom second hand, that's why I've been prevaricating so much about posting the info here.
I was a bit worried about how Mom would take the news, but she took it very well. To paraphrase her, I seem to have "all my ducks in a row."
And now, the hard part: why did I quit?
Y'all remember the job offer I got a few weeks ago from some friends back east? Yes, the one that I turned down.
Well, I was never happy with that decision, but I'd made it and I felt I should stick with my decision. Then I received word from Larry, another friend from the Washington Days, that Charlie and Ruby had been in a bad car accident.
They were t-boned by a semi driving back from the coast.
Charlie died on the spot. Ruby's alive, but she's in the hospital for the foreseeable future.
Sitting there, reading that, all I could think of was the last time I spoke with Charlie. We talked about the gallery and how much he was looking forward to it. It had been his dream for a long time and now he was finally doing it.
And then, poof! He's gone. Dream unfulfilled.
It made me sit down and really assess my life.
Did I really want to spend another seventeen years in a job that I was starting to actively dislike? No, I didn't.
I was sick and tired of waking up with my stomach in knots. I was tired of lying in bed each morning trying to think of a reason not to go into work.
So, I made a decision.
Next Monday, I went into the office and printed out the resignation letter that's been sitting on my hard drive for at least three years. Changed the date, signed it and gave it to my supervisor.
Almost immediately, I felt the weight of the world lift from my shoulders.
That's when I knew I had done the right thing.
I gave two weeks notice and then got the hell out.
So, what am I going to do now? Well, I've put my condo on the market. Once it sells, I'm driving down to the Lower 48.
I'm going to see the Grand Canyon.
Eventually, I'm going to wind up in South Carolina, to visit the family and pick up my mail. What happens after that? I don't know.
But after what feels like years of treading water, I feel like I'm moving again. I don't know towards what, but at least I'm moving.
Still alive and looking forward to the future. - G.

Okay, first of all, I have to apologize for not updating the blog. But, in my defense, I also haven't been updating the Other Blog either.
I've just had stuff going on and haven't felt much like writing about my life.
That said, expect news soon.
Still alive. - G.

Still alive

So, I'm back.
Not that I really went anywhere.
Took last week off and the week before I just didn't feel like posting.
Today, I have something I could post about, but I'm not going to.
All I can say is that I'm making some life changes.
God help us all.
Still alive and being mysterious. - G.

Playing it safe

Well, I've decided not to take the job back east.
Actually, I think I decided some time on Tuesday, but that's neither here nor there.
I'm playing it safe.
And to be perfectly honest it feels fucking terrible.
I used to take chances. Now? Not so much.
I think it's just part of growing older, which sucks and I swore a long time ago that I would never grow completely up.
Now, here I am with a fucking mortgage and a job that I don't give a crap about talking about retiring in ten years.
When the hell did I get so old?
Still alive, but not really feeling like it. - G.

The pendulum swings both ways...

So, last night I went home and really started to think about what this job offer entails.
And the pendulum began to swing the other way, from hope to fear.
I don't think it helped things any that I was sitting at home, surrounded by my stuff and thinking about everything I could lose.
I'm eligible for deferred retirement in ten years.
If I quit my job, I lose all that time.
And what if I do quit my job, move to Virginia and the gallery folds?
I'd be one of the ten percent that's unemployed.
I'm not sure I could handle involuntary unemployment.
Not that I would starve. I've got some cash stashed away. Enough to get by for a good while if I lived nice and simply.
Pheh.
I don't know what I'm going to do.
Still alive and being wishy-washy. - G.

A Job Offer

Last night I got a job offer from some friends back East. They're opening an art gallery in Alexandria in a few months and offered me a job. I'd do some sales, but mostly it would be clerical/admin stuff in support of the gallery. Tracking shipping, buying supplies, that kind of thing.
On the con side, the job would be a big pay cut. About $15,000. And the benefits would be limited.
But, on the pro side, it would be back East where the cost of living is cheaper, and I don't have any real debt so it would be just me. Also, the work would be in an environment that is totally different from the one I'm working in now. And, I'd be closer to family. Just an 8 hour drive up the coast, instead of a 14 hour airplane flight across the country.
I told them I'd think about it and get back to them next week.
Honestly, I'm leaning toward taking the job.
But I want some input.
So, this is your chance.
Let me know what y'all think.
Still alive and considering a life changing opportunity. - G.

Pantsing

Today, I went to the store and bought extra pants for work.
And, wonder of wonders, I discovered that I've lost about two inches off my waist.
Yay, me!
In related news, the hunt for shirts that don't look like they belong on a Hawaiian clown continues without much success.
Still alive and lookin' good. - G.

TGIF

Gah.
Got slammed at work today and am now so glad to be home. Stopped off at the store and got some strawberry icecream. Basically, that's been my dinner.
This is the first time I've been online today. I think my low level irritation may be Internet withdrawal.
Ah well. Time to fix that!
Still alive and trawling the net. - G.

Grrrr!
I am having a shitty day.
That is all.
Still alive and wanting to quit my job. - G.

Interesting News

I just found out that the person who was in the pipeline for the tech position I'm filling in for, has decided to decline the job. Apparently, he got a better offer.
Good for him
And maybe good for me too. Because now the job will probably repost it. And since I've got some training in it now, and some experience under my belt, I might actually get it. Which would be nice, because it comes with a pay rise.
Still alive and contemplating the future. - G.

Yesterday was a lovely day.
So, naturally, today has been complete shit.
Besides a rather embarrassing talk with my boss about something I'm not going into on this blog, I've been digging through files in the tech room and finding all kinds of half-ass shit that my predecessor left.
These things have included: a tub of Quaker Oatmeal older than God, a bag of open cranberries that were partially petrified, old ginger snaps, a fancy cigar, old over-the-counter meds and some moisturizing hand gel that has lost its moisture.
I'm not even going to get into the file stuff, because I'm going to have to have a talk with the program manager about some of that.
God, I hope the guy in the pipeline for the job doesn't decide to bail at the last moment.
Still alive and ready for a bloody drink. - G.

Mothers Day

Today is Mothers Day and, in the true spirit of motherliness, I'm being domestic. I've swept the floor and taken out the trash, rinsed out the trash can (which badly needed it), replaced the filter screens in my heater and now am sitting here waiting on my laundry.
And before anyone wonders, yes, I did call my mom. Unfortunately, she wasn't in, so I left her a message.
I just hope she, and all the other mothers out there, have a nice day.
Still alive and being domestic. - G.

Joke Day

What do you call four matadors in quicksand?

Qautro sinko.

Still alive and telling indecipherable jokes. - G.

So, I just saw a robot roaming about the break room.
Sometimes, I really love my job.
Still alive! - G.

The weekend passed in a blur, although I have no idea why because I spent most of the time dinking around on my laptop trying to write something. Anything.
But I'm hitting the wall and, let me tell you, that is not fun.
About the only constructive thing that I managed to do this weekend was laundry (which is just dumping all my dirty clothes from one machine into the other), and paying my car insurance.
I did finally wander by Title Wave, but didn't take anything with me to trade. Alas, I found nothing there I wanted to buy either. But I did get a nice Reuben on rye from the deli place next door, so that was cool.
I'm at The Job now and should really be doing something more constructive than this. But, at the moment, I'm unsupervised. Mwahahaha! So I'm abusing the privilege by updating the blog and trying to figure out what I want to have for supper tonight.
Still alive and feeling slightly peckish. - G.

It's 6:00 p.m. and I'm still at The Job.
What's up with that?
Well, I'm working a double shift. Coworker Lucy called in sick and Coworker Jim, who is the standby this week, asked if I could cover the shift because of a family commitment. Nice guy that I am, I said, sure. It's cool though, since I don't think anyone actually expects me to do anything. I mean, I'm a Day Person now, right? All I have to do is sit here and answer the phone. Maybe open the mail.
Let me put that another way.
All I'm going to do tonight is answer the phone and open mail.
After the day I've had, I think that's about all I'm going to be capable of doing.
Still alive and counting the hours. - G.

I was going to post a pic of Anchorage today, snatched from one of the usual webcams, but all of the pics are shitty. Which is sad, because it's a really nice morning. The sky is clear, the sun is out and I'm not wearing a coat. Spring has sprung.
Maybe I can post a nice picture later.
Still alive and enjoying the morning. - G.

Apparently, I have One of Those Faces.
I was heading out to lunch today and Officer Guy, down in the lobby, told me I reminded him of a fellow he used to know, years ago. He said I looked just like him; same build, close resemblance in the face, even the personality was similar. Apparently, this fellow went on to fame and fortune as a radio newsreader.
I, alas, have not gone onto fame and fortune as anything.
Well, not yet, anyway.
But one day I just know I'll win the lottery!
Still alive and living in hope. - G.

A Nice Day

It's a very nice day here in Anchorage. So nice, I should really post a webcam photo to show everyone, but I'm a bit tired of webcam photos. I suppose, if I were industrious, I would go out and buy a cheapo digital camera and upload pics to this blog.
But, not to put too fine a point on things, the last time I had a digital camera the pictures I took with it weren't exactly "family friendly." I'd rather not be tempted to go down that road again.
I went out for lunch and the sky was clear blue with highs in the 50s. There's a little wind, but not much. It seems that spring has finally deigned to show up, here on the Last Frontier.
During lunch, I went to Barnes & Nobles and bought a hazelnut breve from their cafe. Honestly, I wish that I hadn't. They've got a slew of new trainees working there and, to be honest, the quality of their beverages has gone down hill. I think I'll hold off on going there again until they get them properly trained. And I'm not ordering any more of their frapacinos until they go back to the original recipe. The last one I got was absolutely horrid. It tasted of nothing but milk and melting ice. Yuck.
Their bookstore, however, remains one of the bright lights of existence, here in Anchorage. I bought a copy of Stephen Hunter's The Court of Air, which I'm quite looking forward to reading. I've mostly finished the books I bought last week and need some new reading material. And I should seriously pack up some of the books I've finished and haul them off to the used book store. It's getting to the point that I can't see the floor next to my bed. If the stack gets any higher I can retire my bedside table.
Hope everyone out there is having a nice day.
Still alive and enjoying the sunshine. - G.

Splat

That sound you just heard is the sound of me hitting the wall.
Seriously, this Monday has lived up to all the Monday propaganda.
Everyone at The Job is sort of staggering around like a bunch of zombies, myself included.
It doesn't help any that today I decided to try and quit drinking soda.
I am seriously caffeine deficient.
My poor body doesn't know whether it's coming or going.
Heaven help me when I get home. I'll probably crawl into bed and be asleep before 8:00 P.M.
Still alive and really, really tired. - G.

CHIRP!

Home ownership sort of sucks.
Last night, as I was lying in bed, eating Cheetos and reading Bad Monkeys, I started hearing these annoying, high-pitched chirps. Kind of like a steroided-out cricket on speed.
CHIRP!
CHIRP!
CHIRP!
It took me a little while to figure out the sounds were coming from two of my fire alarms. The backup batteries were dying and the alarms were trying to let someone know.
I don't know about y'all, but I don't keep 9v batteries just lying around my house. So, I said screw it, and yanked all the batteries out of my fire alarms.
Not to worry though. My fire alarms are wired into my electricity; the batteries are there just in case a fire breaks out during a blackout.
I suppose I should go buy a pack of 9v batteries and replace them in the fire alarms.
I should do a lot of things.
And I'll get to it.
Eventually.
Still alive and procrastinating like heck. - G.

The Borrowers

I was wondering through the bookstore the other day when I happened to notice a display table showing a mishmash of children's books.
The usual suspects were there: Harry Potter, Alice from Wonderland, Percy Jackson, a few of the Lemony Snickett books. There was also a copy of Mary Norton's The Borrowers.
I loved The Borrowers. When I was younger I read all the stories, checking them out from the town library.
No one ever talks about the book any longer. The last time I heard it mentioned, people were referring to it as the source material for the horrible 1992 movie adaptation.
But seeing it there, on the display table, it just brought back a wave of nostalgia, of happy times spent curled up in bed with a good book, lost in the adventures of the Clock family.
Good times.
Still alive and feeling nostalgic. - G.

It's been a long day.
Got up super early this morning and was on my feet all day.
Got off at 3:30, though, which was nice. Was able to beat afternoon traffic home.
Stopped off at McDonald's and, as usual, they screwed up my order.
At least this time the screw up was in my favor. I got an extra order of fries. :)
Now I'm home, with my feet propped up, glad that the day is pretty much over.
Still alive, with achy feet. - G.

Back at The Job and the day has just flown by.
Nothing much else to report.
My stomach is still a little upset, and I need to go marketing tonight, but other than that the world is pretty ho-hum.
Still alive and waiting for five-o-clock. - G.

Sick Day

I'm sick.
I got some rotisserie chicken from the grocery store the other night and, not long after eating it, got pretty sick.
I'll spare you the gory details, but let's just say that if I ever see solid food again, it'll be too damned soon.
Spent today in bed, resting and reading and sipping lukewarm cola.
I think I'll go into work tomorrow.
We'll have to see how I'm doing in the morning.
Still alive, although I don't really feel it. - G.

A.K.A. Skeletor-Face

Have you ever actually looked at Justin Beiber? I mean, really looked at him?
I did.
His picture is all over the freakin' internet, so it's hard to avoid him.
He's got Skeletor face.
That is one kid who is not going to age well.
Still alive and bein' kind of a dick. - G.

180 Degrees

So, the weather has done a complete 180 degrees.
Gone is the six inches of April snow we received yesterday, replaced by perfectly clear blue skies and temps in the low 40s.
I am not complaining.
Hopefully, this is the beginning of real spring and not another false start.
In other topics, I can't believe it's freakin' Thursday. I swear to God I thought it was Tuesday all day long. This week has just flown right by.
But tomorrow is Friday and the weekend will be upon us. I need to start planning when I'm going to take time off during the summer.
Still alive and enjoying the sunshine. - G.

Just when we thought it was over...

It snowed last night. Woke up this morning and found about six inches of snow waiting on me. Oh joy. However shall I contain my enthusiasm?
Did I mention that I already took my snow tires off my car?
Still alive and miffed at the weather. - G.

Joke Day

What does a cat sleep on?
A caterpillow.

Still alive and making bad jokes too early in the morning. - G.

It's Monday afternoon in April and the weatherman is predicting three inches of snow this evening.
Personally, I'll believe it when I see it.
Went over to J.C. Penny's this afternoon, during lunch, and bought a couple of shirts for work. I'm wearing one I bought there earlier today; it's a stripy affair, all gray and white and purple. I'm not sure it works for me. I thought the purple looked pretty good, but now, as I'm staring at it, it makes me look kind of sickly and pale.
I should so stick to dark colors. I swear, if I were twenty years younger, I would give the Goth look a whirl.
Still alive and wondering if I could pull off a top hat? - G.

What on earth was that woman thinking?

I've been reading about this adoption scandal in Tennessee. You've probably seen it, it's the story of the woman that adopted a 7-year-old Russian boy and then, six months later, stuck him on a plane and returned him to Russia, claiming he was a violent psychopath. The whole affair has led to international shock and outrage.
To be honest, I don't blame the Russians for being pissed.
What kind of person just dumps a little boy on an international flight, alone, and has a complete stranger, someone you paid, to meet him at the other end and drop the kid off at a government building with a note explaining why???
This woman is supposed to be a nurse. Aren't nurses supposed to be compassionate people? If she was genuinely concerned about her family's safety with this child, she should have taken him to a psychologist and had him examined. She did consult with a psychologist, but she never took the kid in to see him. She just dumped him.
What the hell? Why didn't she get the adoption agency involved? Or go to the Russian embassy in Washington and speak with someone there about returning the child to the state through proper channels?
The Tennessee authorities are looking into the matter, trying to determine if the woman broke any laws. Apparently, a lot of it depends on whether or not the child was a U.S. citizen.
Personally, I think, at the very least, local child services should evaluate whether or not this woman is a fit parent. She apparently adopted another child from a foreign country. It might be interesting to find out what his situation is like.
The whole situation is just sad.

Dazed & Confused

So, it's Thursday and I'm still feeling as if it's Friday. Because, on my old schedule, this would be my Friday. But now Friday is my Friday. Have I completely confused you? Because I know what I'm talking about and I still managed to confuse myself just then.
It's been that kind of day.
Lots of synaptic misfirings.
Misspoke words.
Misheard comments.
"Senior moments."
Heh.
I'm still totally blaming any and all of these things on transitioning from nights to days.
Still, that excuse will wear thin a few weeks from now.
Heh.
Still alive and trying to wake up. - G.

Joke Day

Did you hear about the burglar the police caught last night? The fellow broke into a house through a bathroom window, stood on a set of scales, and gave himself a weigh.

Another one bites the dust

Went home last night and found that my computer had gone to that great silicon graveyard in the sky.
To quote, Dr. McCoy, "He's dead, Jim."
*sigh*
At least this one lasted a little bit. I think I got all three years out of the warranty. Am currently typing this at work. Plan on getting new computer this evening after work.
And, yes, I will be getting the warranty.
Still alive and fighting off Internet withdrawal. - G.

Dazed

So, first day on my new spiffy day shift at The Job and things are going well. Went to bed hella early last night, around 8:30ish, and am glad that I did. Got about four or five hours of sleep then woke up and spent the next few hours tossing and turning, trying to get back to sleep. Didn't really work, but I was pretty rested when my alarm went off this morning.
Morning commute wasn't as bad as I thought it would be. Stopped off at Charbucks for the ritual first coffee of the week, then came on into the office. Spent the first part of the day locked away in a windowless room, learning tech stuff as a backup, then went off to lunch.
Do I have to tell you how weird it is to have an actual lunch hour when you haven't had one for almost fifteen years? Tres weird, man! Tres weird!
Am now sitting on the switchboard for the afternoon. The day is going by fairly quickly. Am thinking that, when I get off work tonight, I should do something special as a reward. Take advantage of the new schedule.
Still alive and starting to yawn. - G.

Busy, busy, busy

Yesterday was productive.
Got up at 7:00 A.M. (!!!!) and got my tires changed over. Even getting at the tire place first thing in the morning, I still had a four hour wait. Said to hell with it and caught a cab back home where I amused myself with the Internet.
Then, after the tires were done, I went by the IM place to get my car inspected, but the line was hella long and I didn't feel like waiting around. Went back home and vegged out until about 3:00 P.M. when I headed for the tax place to get my taxes done.
My taxes aren't hard, but I hate doing them myself. Itemizing is for the birds. Plus, the last time I tried to install TurboTax on my computer the motherboard fried. I take that as a sign from God that I'm not supposed to do my own taxes.
I should probably be heading over to the IM place today, to get the inspection done, but I'm just not feeling it. Instead, I think I'll just veg out at home. Maybe pack some books up for the used book store and haul 'em off tomorrow.
Still alive and sort of busy. - G.

Fifteen minutes into the future...

In about fifteen minutes I'll be leaving The Job and entering the weekend.
Tomorrow is going to be quite busy. I need to get my snow tires taken off my car, get an IM test done for my vehicle registration and then, finally, get my taxes done.
On Saturday, I can sleep.
Sunday, I can sleep in too, although I probably won't. I start my new shift on Monday and need to get acclimatized to the new hours.
It's strange, but leaving the office tonight feels like a bigger deal than it actually is. I've worked nights here for the last fifteen years. Now, I'm putting that behind me and becoming just another day person.
I think I'm getting soppy in my old age.
Still alive and contemplating the future. - G.

I think I'm a medical hazard waiting to happen...

So, second day at The Job and things are going pretty swell.
Except that coworkers keep jerking their heads to stare at me, perplexed, when they see me gallumping down the hallway at noon.
I swear, come Monday morning, I'm concerned some of my coworkers might actually give themselves whiplash, staring at me when I show up at eight in the morning.
Honestly.
Still alive and experiencing sympathetic neck pains. - G.

Work

Good news!
I started working days today.
Sort of.
Kinda.
Actually, I'm working from noon to eight this evening, at least until Thursday.
Then, I get a nice three-day weekend, and start working normal day hours on Monday.
Next week, I suspect, is going to be difficult.
But I'm looking forward to it.
I'm just glad to be out of limbo!
Still alive and enjoying the sunshine. - G.

Joke Day

Did you hear about the new Elvis inspired restaurant? Its for folks who love meat tender.
*rimshot*
Still alive and telling really bad jokes. - G.

It's a bright, sunny day here on the Last Frontier and I'm inside, doing laundry. As I type this, I feel a bit guilty. I should be out there, enjoying the sun and the 40+ degree weather. But, instead, I lurk, troll-like, at the keyboard. Eh. Nature is overrated anyway.
I was up till the wee hours this morning reading a book, Life In A Medieval Castle, which is actually quite interesting. It's just the latest book in a book-buying binge that I've been on, and its sitting atop the stack next to my bed.
Honestly, I should probably be off the computer and in my bedroom, boxing up surplus books and getting ready to drive them over to Title Wave. My credit is dangerously close to dropping below the triple digits. :P
And I'm debating if I want to go to the movies tonight, to see Hot Tob Time Machine. On the pro side, I like John Cussack movies and I've heard this one is supposed to be pretty funny. On the con side though is the fact that I'd be paying full price for an unknown quantity, plus I'm gun shy about popular comedy movies. What other people thing of as funny, I usually think of as annoying and stupid.
Ah well. Sounds like the wash is done. Time to pop it into the dryer.
Still alive and forced to live a life of domestic drudgery. - G.

Rejection

Well, nuts.
Just got a rejection e-mail from a site I submitted a short story too.
To be honest, I'm not surprised I was rejected. The story felt a bit too political, too real-world for the site I sent it to.
Ah well.
Time to hunker down and fire off the next attempt.
Still alive and still writing, even after all these years. - G.

TGIT

Okay, stick a fork in me, 'cause I'm done.
Been at work since three and already my desk is covered with dusty files.
It's my Friday. I am declaring today officially over. Done. Kaput.
Bring on the weekend!
Hopefully this one will not start with the failure of a major household appliance.
Still alive and ready for a drink! - G.

Limbo

It seems like every day someone at The Job is asking me when I'm finally going to start on days. And I have to keep saying, "I don't know."
Honestly, the not knowing is starting to really get on my nerves.
I'm ready to start days.
My successor is trained as well as she's going to be. Everything else is all about experience. That, and our tech guys pulling their heads out of their butts and giving her the damn computer accesses that she needs to do the job.
Eh.
In other training news, I just wrote a short, handy-dandy guide to using one of our subsystems for newbies.
I am so adding that to my resume.
Still alive and getting tired of living in limbo. - G.

4th & D

In Hot Water

I have a new hot water heater.
The guys arrived early and finished installing it about fifteen minutes ago. They were here for almost three hours.
Now, as I sit here typing these words, I can hear the new hot water heater boiling and burbling in its new space.
Honestly? It sounds a bit sinister and is making me wonder: what sort of sounds does a hot water heater make before it explodes?
Okay, now I'm totally getting paranoid.
So, I think I'm off to the movies. I figure, if the house isn't blown up by the time I come back, everything'll be copacetic.
Still alive and being a bit silly. - G.

Just because I don't support the HCRB, that doesn't make me evil. Does it?

Crap.
I've been trying to write a post re my reaction to the Democrats passing their Health Care Reform Bill.
But everything I've written so far just makes me sound like a reactionary wacko.
So, I'll just say that I don't support this bill as it currently stands.
And, honestly, I'm not that worried about it, because I figure it'll be shredded like Chinese chicken within a year, when the Republicans sweep back into Congress and the lobbyists start playing hard ball.
Until then, we're stuck with it.
And I still sound like a reactionary wacko, don't I?
Ah well.
Still alive and fed up with my country's leadership. - G.

Update on the Hot Water Heater

Crap.
I need a new hot water heater.
Will be getting a new one installed this Monday afternoon.
Am taking off work to be here when it's done.
Until then, it's cold showers for yours truly.
Still alive and thinking apartment life is looking better and better. - G.

Not in Hot Water

I woke up this morning and discovered that I had no hot water.
The pilot light in my hot water heater had apparently gone out.
So, screwing my courage to the sticking place, I relit the thing.
No problem.
Everything's copacetic. Right?
But then, when I took a shower, I ran out of hot water way too soon. Even for the measly amount my hot water heater produces.
I checked and the pilot light had gone out again.
What the fuck?
I was out of matches and, since we're talking about a major gas powered appliance here, I just said fuck it and called one of those 24 hour heating places. They're sending someone over to take a look.
In the meantime, I've turned the gas off to the hot water heater and am sitting here, blogging this, while waiting for the heat guy to show up.
Gee. I so love being a home owner.
Not!
Still alive and waiting on the repairman to show up. - G.

Ready for the weekend!

This is so totally going to be me when I get home tonight.
Still alive and ready for the weekend! - G.

Birthday Wishes & Shamrock Dreams :P

Today is my mom's birthday.
And, no, before you ask, she is not a leprechaun.
I imagine it's a bit of pain sharing your birthday with a significant holiday. I seem to recall more than once, her birthday cake had a leprechaun on it. At least one such leprechaun wound up preserved in the freezer for an ungodly length of time. I'm not certain what happened to it. Perhaps it spontaneously came to life and fled the freezer for warmer climes. Who knows?
Personally, I think my mom lucked out. After all, being born on St. Patrick's Day is better than being born on Christmas or Easter. I mean, on those days she'd be competing against Jesus for attention, and how the hell do you win in that situation?
Seriously, though, today is my mom's birthday and, even though she sometimes drives me crazy, as all good mothers do, I love her more than sliced bread.
Happy birthday, mom.
Hope you have a good one.
Still alive and wondering if my mom actually reads this blog? - G.

Driveby Post

This is a quick, driveby post.
Am mostly recovered and typing this at The Job.
Where, sadly, my absence did not cause the place to collapse into chaos and entropy.
Could it be that I am not the center of the known universe after all?
Still alive and typing this on the sly. - G.

Sneezy

Home sick today with a cold. Been up all night, sneezing like a dog. Already called into work and now I'm heading back to bed.
Still alive, just a bit under the weather. - G.

Success! It is mine!

Like the Victorian gentlemen to the left, I too am feeling like a sexy bitch.

Why?

Because in the eternal struggle of Man vs. Pants, I have achieved victory!

Victory!

She is mine! And she is tasty! Like vanilla ice cream licked off the gently heaving bosoms of a virgin school marm.

In other words, today, I finally found pants that fit. Chinos too, which I love, cause they don't make me feel like I'm wearing a box on my ass.

If this is any indication of how well my weekend is going to go, I should totally fly to Las Vegas and bet everything on black.

Cause if Katy Perry can win in Vegas, anyone can.

Still alive and feelin' sexxxy! - G.

It's Thursday and my weekend is almost upon me.
And while my trainee is diligently slaving away next to me, I am secretly making this blog entry 'cause I know y'all would worry if I didn't. Right?
At least, that's what I tell myself.
Not a lot to report on here at The Job.
Work is work.
Not much to talk about in the personal life either.
Just finished reading an M.C. Beaton detective novel, and, before that, a book on North Korea entitled Nothing to Envy. I don't think I'll be giving Ms. Beaton any more of my hard-earned money. I've read fanfic that was written with more panache than the Hammish McBeth mysteries the lady writes.
And my never ending quest for pants that fit, goes on.
I wonder if I could get away with wearing a kilt on days?
Still alive and starting to obsess about my wardrobe. - G.

So, I'm about to go to bed and thought I'd let y'all know my postings here may be a bit erratic. Normally, I post at The Job, but since I'm training my successor, my Internet access is a bit wonky.
The training, by the way, is going fairly well. My trainee is picking things up fairly quickly, with the exception of our file system. She can't seem to get her head around the fact that our files use a two-tier system: a numeric classification and then a file number.
Eh.
Whatever. I'm sure she'll get it eventually.
The search for pants that fit goes on, with no luck.
And, just in case you were wondering, Old Man Winter has returned with a vengeance. It's a chilly -3 degrees Fahrenheit outside right now.
I'm not even going to talk about the snow drifts.
Anyway, I'm off to bed.
Still alive and ready for spring. - G.

Obituaries as entertainment

I have a daily ritual when I come to work.
Wanting to be an informed individual, when I sit at my desk, the first thing I do is fire up the Internet and check the news sites.
I start off with the Anchorage Daily News, for the local stuff, then skim CNN to see if they're reporting anything relevant.
Finally, I pop over to The Telegraph and The Times to check things out from a slightly different perspective.
And after I've satisfied my media hunger, I go back to The Telegraph and read their obituary page.
Does that sound morbid? It's really not.
The Telegraph's obituaries are extremely entertaining.
They are one of the highlights of my day. Plus, it helps to know that as long as I'm reading an obituary, it means I'm not featured in one.
Still alive and loving it! - G.

Ugh

I've been on a cheese bender for the last two weeks. Don't ask me why, it's just one of those things. A phase someone goes through, like an overwhelming desire for blueberry scones or hot blondes. You know you shouldn't indulge, but you also know that the hankering will be there until you work it out of your system.
With me, I've been hankering for cheese. Pepper jack cheese to be precise. I've been nibbling on the stuff constantly.
And now, if I see another cheese-related product anytime soon, I think I'll be sick.
The romance is so over.
Still alive and feeling cheesy 'n queasy. - G.

I don't care about the Iditarod, but I gotta get some pants...

Well, I was going to go shopping this afternoon, but it's snowing like gangbusters out there. Good news for the Iditarod, I suppose, but not so much for me.
Eh. I'll head up to Fred Myers and see what they've got in stock. Maybe I can find some pants that not only fit, but will actually hold together. *gasp!*
Wish me luck.
Still alive and still going shopping. Sort of. - G.

I'd like to push Alice through the bloody looking glass...

Alice in Wonderland comes out today and I'm torn.
On the one hand, I like most of Tim Burton's movies. But on the other hand, I absolutely loathe the Alice books.
I cannot stand them.
I remember reading the first one and getting an enormous headache, because, honestly? What was the fucking point of the story?
A while back, I read an article that explained the reasons the Alice stories were so popular can be largely attributed to the time when they were first published. It was the Victorian Era and the lives of children were regulated to extremes. The whimsical, free flowing nonsense of the Alice books appealed to children because it was apparently liberating.
I've talked about this with some other folks and Alice tends to polarize a crowd; people either love the books or hate them.
I'm afraid I fall firmly in the first camp.
It doesn't help that the movie is getting lukewarm reviews.
What to do? What to do?
Still alive and pondering tonight's adventure. - G.

So, I've been at The Job for a couple of hours today and let me tell you something: I shoulda stayed in bed.
Still alive and wishing it was time to go home. - G.

Television is a wasteland...

I don't watch much television any more.
Yes, I know. Shocking isn't it?
When I was growing up, I was glued to the set. I could quote the programming schedules of entire networks. Granted, way back then we only had three television networks and no cable t.v. And, yet, somehow we managed to survive. :P
These days, I don't watch much television. The dramas are just silly and most of the comedies don't make me laugh. Reality television is just stupid. See The Jersey Shore for proof of that. I avoid the news channels like the plague that they are.
People at The Job are always amazed that I don't have the television on when I'm at work. I'd rather listen to the radio or podcasts downloaded off the Internet.
Television today is just boring.
Still alive and feeling kind of listless. - G.

Picture Day

Today's pictures, please note the "s", are from the Fur Rondy Snow Sculpture competition.

This pic is easily my favorite of the lot. The others? Eh. Not so much. Scroll down to see why.

Um. I think this is supposed to be a troll or something. An angry troll. See the fist? And the psychotic grin? Angry snow trolls make me long for fifty degree weather.

Okay. We're in Alaska and someone decided to do a sculpture of a frog on a lilly pad. I think someone must be homesick for the bayou. It doesn't help any that the eyes on this snow frog totally follow you around the room. Creepy!

Snow fish leaping into the air. I suppose this is relevant to our locality, but this sculpture is just dead boring. I mean, come on. Angry Snow Troll and Creepy Snow Frog are more interesting than this. Bleh.

I have absolutely no fucking idea what this thing is supposed to be. Mystery Snow Sculpture is made of fail.

Again, I have no idea what the hell this thing is supposed to be. It looks kind of Lovecraftian, doesn't it? Are those supposed to be brains and tentacles or something else? Lovecraftian Snow Sculpture is made of fail. Epic fail.

Okay. Are these supposed to be bears or apes? I can't tell. And, also, why does looking at this picture make me think that they are about to have sex. Dirty, dirty snow sex. *shudders*

Snow Baby Sculpture is Giant. Snow Baby Sculpture is Creepy. How'd you like to see that crawling down the hall toward you on a dark night?

And there you have it. I swear, I don't know what was going through those artists minds when they were making these sculptures, but I suspect a lot of them spent waaayyy too much time alone this winter.

Still alive and avoiding creepy snow sculptures! - G.

Seeing light at the end of the tunnel

March has arrived and so has my successor at The Job.
Her name is Pam and she's going to work the day shift this week and then start working the shift with me this Sunday.
Oh joy! Oh rapturous day, ka-loo! Ka-lay!
In a few weeks, I shall be free of the night shift. Free of taking telephone calls from people who shouldn't be allowed near a telephone, let alone to use one.
And if you think I'm making mountains out of mole hills, pull up and chair and have a listen. A couple of weeks ago, I got a call from a lady who was convinced that Bill Gates and Warren Buffet were conspiring to prevent her from getting plastic surgery.
I am totally not making that up.
See? That's the kind of crazy I've had to deal with for the last few years. Is it any wonder that I cringe every time the phone rings?
But soon I shall be free!
Free, I tell you!
Still alive and a little nutty 'cause this day is just goin' on 4evah! - G.

Fur Rondy

Today marks the beginning of Fur Rondy, a big winter carnival held every year in Anchorage. Originally, the Fur Rondy was when all the trappers and furriers brought their goods to Anchorage to trade and sell. Nowadays, it's like a local version of Mardi Gras.
Only, y'know, with a lot less exposed skin and public debauchery.
The opening ceremony will feature fireworks. And I think the Miners & Trappers Ball is tonight as well. I know that the Melodrama definitely starts tonight.
And tomorrow there will be the Reindeer Run, a sort of Alaskan version of the running of the bulls. Only, y'know, with reindeer.
A bunch of folks from The Job have signed up for the Reindeer Run. Tomorrow afternoon, I'll have a tonne of folks at the office, watching events unfold from the roof. They'll be dragging their families along with them, which means I'll have to interact with spouses and children.
On a Sunday.
Yeah, Sunday's aren't my best days.
I'll definitely be stopping off at Charbucks for a quad latte with extra syrup.
Still alive and staying home tonight. - G.

Books

It has occurred to me, that since starting this blog, I have committed a cardinal sin: I haven't done a single Blog List.
So, in hopes of fending off the ire of the Blogging Gods, I present to you, gentle readers, a list of The Last Ten Books I Have Read.

1. Gamearth by Kevin J. Anderson

2. Ill Wind by Kevin J. Anderson

3. Death of a Gentle Lady by M. C. Beaton

4. The Sword-Edged Blonde by Alex Bledsoe

5. Boomsday by Christopher Buckley

6. The Gates by John Connolly

7. Shades of Grey by Jasper Fforde

8. Changing the World: All New Tales of Valdemar, edited by Mercedes Lackey

9. The Sheriff of Yrnameer by Michael Rubens

10. The Book of Dave by Will Self

Jobbed

So, I didn't get the specialist position I applied for at The Job. No big loss, and, to be perfectly honest, I'm a bit relieved. After all, this is a technical job and it's one I'm not sure I wanted to jump into, sight unseen.
Still, when I found out Wednesday night, I was a bit miffed. The pay raise would have been useful, since I'm going to be losing a chunk of money when I start working days. Also, I swear that the application process was rigged. The self-assessment questions were geared specifically toward people who were already doing the job in a backup capacity. And I'm not even going to get into the fact I had to hack huge swathes of info from my resume to accommodate the application software's 3000 character limit.
Yeah, you read that right.
3000 characters.
Not words.
Characters.
Pheh.
Whatever.
I don't care.
In about a month, I'll be on days, working like a normal person for the first time in fifteen years. It should be a nice change of pace, not to have to be so damned responsible.
And I won't miss the phone pervs at all.
Still alive and pretty much resigned to being a file clerk. - G.

The future is finally starting to arrive.

So, this is cool.

A New Zealand firm is going to start producing and selling jet packs like the one above.

The future is finally starting to arrive.

Still alive and still waiting for my flying car. - G.

Ego boost

So, yesterday I posted a story for the first time on a bulletin board I've been lurking at for a while. I think this is my favorite response, so far:

"The kind of emotionally dark, bleak place this went worked very well in a lot of ways and proved a powerful introduction for a new author to enter our midst. I can't, for several reasons both obvious and private, say that I enjoyed this story, but I can say it was well handled and worthy of eventual rereading and recommendation."

He called me an author.

:)

Still alive and thinking about returning to that unfinished novel. - G.

Picture Day

Above is the view from a webcam on 4th Avenue and G Street. On the right hand side of the image you can see the marquee for the historic 4th Avenue Theater. I read somewhere that the city was in negotiations with the owner to renovate the place. That discussion has been had before, but nothing's come of it then. I doubt anything will come of it now.
Still alive and thinking about getting a digital camera. - G

Grrrrrrr!

Well, this weekend has been kind of crappy all around. I'll spare y'all the details because, basically, I don't see any point in whining about shit that's already happened.
But I will say this.
Some people should be glad that I don't own a gun.
Hopefully tomorrow will be better.
Still alive and contemplating anger management. - G.

I don't think that's what they meant by "feel the burn."

So, I've taken a couple extra days off, tacking them onto the weekend.
And I've been eating healthy.
Eating healthy is always a bad thing for me to do.
Why? you ask.
Because my fabulous body no longer tolerates "healthy" food.
For instance, I got some raisins yesterday and completely forgot that raisins are just dried grapes and that grapes, well, let's just say I don't need Metamucil if I'm eatin' the grapes.
I've spent most of this evening vaulting for the toilet.
That's why I'm up so late on a Sunday, blogging away while my gut gurgles like a still about to explode.
At times like these, I really wish I kept some Pepto in the house.
My bottom feels like someone's shoved a hot poker up it.
Still alive and feeling the burn. - G.

Eww! I've actually done a post relating to Twilight...

So, Robert Pattinson, he of the strangely trapezoidal head, and Twilight fangirl obsessions, has made a comment that he's "allergic to vaginas." This amazing revelation came about after he participated in a twelve-hour photoshoot for Details magazine's 10th anniversary. He's quoted over on The Huffington Post, saying he's allergic to the vag and just doesn't like "women's private parts."
And I can't help but wondering?
Is that gonna be his reasoning for eventually going gay? 'Cause he just didn't have any other choice?
"I'm allergic to the vag, so have had to make do with the cock."
Oy vey.
Still alive and totally amused. - G.

A Joke For You

Q: What's black and white and red all over?

A: Two mimes in a chainsaw fight.

Happy Birthday Sis!

Holy crap!
I totally forgot that today was my sister's birthday!
Well, here's some cake, sweety!
Hope you had a great one!
Still alive and younger than my Sister! - G.

Addendum to the Previous Post

I should hasten to point out that I said I was "thinking about going on a diet."
"Thinking."
I am not committed to it.
Not yet.
After all, it is Girl Scout Cookie season, and Thin Mints are like crack.
Still alive and clarifying the situation. - G.

At least I'm not Kevin Smith....

Even though yesterday's Pants Incident was in no way, shape or form induced by my weight, I'm thinking of going on a diet.
Party because yesterday was Fat Tuesday and today is Shrove Wednesday, the beginning of Lent, when you're supposed to give up stuff. I figure that's as good a time as any to start a new health regime. Right? Right.
For me, dieting is not that hard. I have two sure fire methods I use that always help me lose weight.
The first, is calorie counting. All I have to do is set a caloric limit and then ruthlessly keep track of everything I eat. Which means walking around all day with a little pad, scribbling down numbers and adding them up, making sure I don't cross the line.
The second secret to my diet success, is the Sims. Yeah, you read that right. The video game put out by Electronic Arts is a big help in controlling weight. How? you ask. Because it gives you something else to focus on while you're sitting at home. You see, I eat when I'm bored and if I'm engaged in something like the Sims, I don't really notice my urge to eat.
Of course, before I actually start the diet, I have to get rid of the crap food that's in my refrigerator at this minute.
And by that, I mean the chocolate pudding I bought last night and started scarfing down after eating a microwave mac-n-cheese.
Yeah, I'm the poster boy for good eating.
Still alive and contemplating thinness. - G.

At least I was wearing clean underwear...

Have you ever had one of those days? Everything is going along swimmingly and then, suddenly, something occurs that just spoils your mood and sends you into a tailspin?
I'm having one of those days.
It was all going so nicely. I'd woken up early, shaved and showered and decided I'd dress up a bit for work. So I pull on my khaki slacks and the camo sweatshirt that goes so well with it.
I decided I'd stop off at Subways and grab a tuna sub, 'cause I've been jonesing for fish for the last few days. Don't ask me why, but I have.
So, I'm in Subway, waiting on my food, when I notice my shoe is untied. I think about tying it there, but, honestly, the thought of kneeling on their floors just puts me right off. They're dirty and wet with all the mud and slush people have been trailing in.
So, I get my food and go outside. Plop my sandwich on the hood of my car and kneel on the reasonably clean sidewalk to tie by shoe.
And that's when it happens.
RRRRRIIIIIIPPPPP!!!
Yep.You guessed it.
Looking down, I'm startled to see that the stitching along the crotch of my khakis has completely given way.
I stand up and stare down at my groin and my surprise turns to black anger.
These pants are brand new! I think to myself. I've only worn them, like, twice! What the fuck?!?!
And now I have to go all the way back home and get a change of pants. Which means that I don't get to go into work early, and now I'm in a really bad mood.
I get home and take off the khakis and look at them. I see that the stitching all along the seam is ridiculously loose. What the hell?
I throw them in the trash and pull on a pair of worn blue jeans. Leadfoot it into work, where I avoid everyone for about twenty minutes because, honestly, I'm not fit for human company at that point.
I'm still pissed at the fact that those pants split, but I no longer want to stab anyone in the head with a fork.
And, actually, writing all of this down has helped a lot.
So, thanks Blogger. You've probably kept me from going off on some poor lunatic tonight.
Still alive, and reasonably calm. - G.

Sleeping Lady

So, here's a picture of Mount Susitna, also known locally as Sleeping Lady. It got the name Sleeping Lady because it looks a bit like a girl sleeping with her arms crossed on her chest. Personally, it's easier for me to imagine it as a lady, sleeping on her side.

What do y'all see?

Still alive! - G.

Gung Hee Fat Choi!

Happy Chinese New Year!
This year, is the Year of the Tiger.
According to Chinese astrology, Roosters and Tigers don't always get along, and since I'm a Rooster person the coming year may be somewhat "interesting."
Let's hope it's not too "interesting."
Oh. And today is also Valentine's Day or something.
Hope y'all have a happy one!
Still alive and getting ready to go to bed. - G

Snowstalgia

Sis sent me some pics she took, of her and her family, enjoying yesterday's unusual southern snowstorm. The Nephews look like they're having a ball. Good for them.
I remember loving snow when I grew up in the South, on those rare instances when we would get it, but now, living here in Alaska, I am pretty much immune to its charms. Its just part of the background, like the mountains, or an obstacle to avoid, like the drunks on 5th Avenue.
Wow.
That sounded a lot less dark in my head.
Still alive and preparing to walk out into the snow. - G.

Snow

When I signed onto the Internet today, I was surprised to read headlines about a winter storm sweeping the Deep South. Curious, I clicked on the link and saw what appeared to be a massive snow storm. Most of the main website coverage was about reactions of people in Georgia and Alabama and such places.

I was wondering what South Carolina was experiencing so I checked one of the local news sites. Can you imagine my surprise and amusement when I watched a video clip of a reporter commenting on the 1/2 inch of snow Orangeburg had got so far? The man was bundled up as if he were about to go traipsing off to the Arctic.

It was 20something degrees. Here in Alaska, that's bloody warm. You wear a normal coat and a hat, not Arktik cold weather survival gear like the weatherman in the clip.

*shakes head*

Oh. And don't talk to me about 'snow accumulation' until you've got enough to build something like this:

Still alive! - G.