Playing it safe

Well, I've decided not to take the job back east.
Actually, I think I decided some time on Tuesday, but that's neither here nor there.
I'm playing it safe.
And to be perfectly honest it feels fucking terrible.
I used to take chances. Now? Not so much.
I think it's just part of growing older, which sucks and I swore a long time ago that I would never grow completely up.
Now, here I am with a fucking mortgage and a job that I don't give a crap about talking about retiring in ten years.
When the hell did I get so old?
Still alive, but not really feeling like it. - G.