Sunday, June 27, 2010

The Big Reveal

I quit my job.
There, I said it. At last, the awful truth can be known.
I hesitated to post the info here because I wanted to tell Mom first, on the off chance she ever checked this blog. I know Sis sometimes checks it and didn't want the info to reach Mom second hand, that's why I've been prevaricating so much about posting the info here.
I was a bit worried about how Mom would take the news, but she took it very well. To paraphrase her, I seem to have "all my ducks in a row."
And now, the hard part: why did I quit?
Y'all remember the job offer I got a few weeks ago from some friends back east? Yes, the one that I turned down.
Well, I was never happy with that decision, but I'd made it and I felt I should stick with my decision. Then I received word from Larry, another friend from the Washington Days, that Charlie and Ruby had been in a bad car accident.
They were t-boned by a semi driving back from the coast.
Charlie died on the spot. Ruby's alive, but she's in the hospital for the foreseeable future.
Sitting there, reading that, all I could think of was the last time I spoke with Charlie. We talked about the gallery and how much he was looking forward to it. It had been his dream for a long time and now he was finally doing it.
And then, poof! He's gone. Dream unfulfilled.
It made me sit down and really assess my life.
Did I really want to spend another seventeen years in a job that I was starting to actively dislike? No, I didn't.
I was sick and tired of waking up with my stomach in knots. I was tired of lying in bed each morning trying to think of a reason not to go into work.
So, I made a decision.
Next Monday, I went into the office and printed out the resignation letter that's been sitting on my hard drive for at least three years. Changed the date, signed it and gave it to my supervisor.
Almost immediately, I felt the weight of the world lift from my shoulders.
That's when I knew I had done the right thing.
I gave two weeks notice and then got the hell out.
So, what am I going to do now? Well, I've put my condo on the market. Once it sells, I'm driving down to the Lower 48.
I'm going to see the Grand Canyon.
Eventually, I'm going to wind up in South Carolina, to visit the family and pick up my mail. What happens after that? I don't know.
But after what feels like years of treading water, I feel like I'm moving again. I don't know towards what, but at least I'm moving.
Still alive and looking forward to the future. - G.

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